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We are (all) Penn State by Bob Gasper

As a married, gay, alumni father of a bi-racial, sophomore son, I bring a diverse experience to the Penn State Parents Council. Whether you or your student identify as LGBTQ or you are an ally who believes in equality for all, hopefully I can provide a bit of perspective on the state of the “LGBTQ community” at Penn State.

When I was preparing to head to Penn State in 1986, my parents discovered that I was gay. My mother feared the worst; that I would live my whole life alone, that I would contract AIDS, and then I would kill myself. In many ways, my life has been an effort to prove her wrong. It was at Penn State, on the stage of Schwab Auditorium, that I met my future husband. Now thirty-plus healthy years later, one of our twin sons has become a student at Penn State. I really showed her! 

Our son has been heard saying, “we are not your typical family.” But I realize now, my hopes for our son are quite similar to my mom’s— though it may sound a bit less extreme:  we hope he makes meaningful relationships and leads a long, healthy life. 

Being gay is one thing but being gay with kids is a constant “coming out.” When the kids were infants, we would get the question — “Oh, is it Daddy’s day out?”  Our response was, “No, we are a two-dad family.”—Always pausing whenever we said that — waiting for a reaction.  

Ever since our kids entered kindergarten, I have been on a bit of a crusade to make a simple fix— all forms should say “Parent and Parent” — not “Mother and Father.”  (This was recommended by the Academy of Pediatrics back in the 1990s). It sends a message to all parents, but more importantly, to young students who may be unsure how their family fits in and need to know there is not just one way to “family.”  I am happy to report that Penn State has all the forms just right! 

If you are sending off a daughter or son who identifies as lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans or questioning, Penn State has resources. The University is home to a nationally recognized program for gender and sexual diversity. And in this ever-evolving world, they seem to be constantly discovering ways to help students. This past July, the center changed its name from the alphabet soup of LGBTQA to the Penn State Center for Sexual and Gender Diversity. This is a good change for many reasons and to be honest, I was never 100% sure what the Q stood for.

Soon they will be moving their offices from the Boucke Building to a newly dedicated space in the HUB-Robeson Center. The move to the HUB is an important move that places the new center right alongside the many other organizations that call the HUB home. It emphasizes the fact that the “LGBTQ community" is not a separate community— it is a vital part of the whole community. 

“We are Penn State” is not just the best cheer in college football (maybe we are a little biased). It’s not just a great marketing tool. It also encompasses the diversity that is Penn State. We are (all) Penn State.