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By Mark Thalman, Bethesda, MD, Parent of Cailey, ‘26

I was sitting alone in the pristine marble foyer of the Bellisario College of Communications when the tears came. Sometimes rites of passage have a way of sneaking up on you and this was one of those times. In the distance, through a glass door, I caught glimpses of my daughter Cailey, seated at a computer registering for her first semester classes at Penn State. She was joined by eager classmates and attentive counselors who darted around answering questions and offering advice. I was literally on the outside looking in, slowly adjusting to my new role as a parent. In that moment, it occurred to me that this was where my daughter's childhood ended and her new chapter as a young adult - a college student - began. Soon these picturesque tree-lined pathways, majestic academic buildings, and bustling dorms would become Cailey's home. Some of these students, in matching lanyards and nametags, would be joining her during late-night study sessions at Pattee Library, on spontaneous runs to the Berkey Creamery for a double scoop of peanut butter swirl, and in the Beaver Stadium student section during victorious "White Out" football games. They would become friends for life, making memories together that never fade. New Student Orientation (NSO) is where Cailey's college journey officially began and where I, as a parent, first felt the full embrace of the remarkable Penn State community.

There is a palpable buzz on campus the moment you arrive at New Student Orientation. This mandatory two-day program, held on multiple dates during late spring and early summer, is where students and parents get their first real taste of what college life will be like. It's an intensive program in all things Penn State. New students spend the night in residence hall rooms, so when families arrive the first order of business is to find the student's designated residence hall room and drop off their luggage. An army of current Penn State students and staff in colorful t-shirts direct traffic and enthusiastically steer the newcomers in the right direction. This was the first thing that struck me about NSO; just how efficient and organized things were. The new students are excited and anxious but quickly start connecting when they realize everyone is in the same boat. After weeks of scrolling through Instagram posts of prospective roommates, they are now face-to-face with the actual people who will be their classmates. Everyone wants to make a good impression and that means sometimes we, as parents, get a talk. Cailey admonished me to refrain from asking questions or doing anything otherwise embarrassing. Somehow, I managed enough self-control to avoid shouting "We Are!" in the parking lot during luggage drop-off, but over the two days I asked plenty of questions.

Cailey and I arrived early and had enough time to eat lunch in the HUB Robeson Center before the informational sessions began. The HUB is Penn State University Park's student union and has twelve dining options including Sbarro, Panda Express, Starbucks, and Jamba Juice, among others. It was nice to decompress after the long drive from Maryland and watch students as they scurried about. After lunch, Cailey checked in and received her official Penn State ID. This was a poignant moment for me as a parent because now college was real. It felt like the moment your child gets their driver's license. Suddenly, with one rectangular piece of plastic, exciting new worlds open up for them and they feel the joy of new-found independence. After a quick spin around the PSU Student Bookstore - your student will soon own an entire wardrobe of Penn State branded gear which they will wear every day for the next four years - it was time for the NSO sessions to begin.

Each of the two days is structured so that some information is shared in joint sessions (parents and students attend together) while during others the parents and students are separated. You will be issued a Parents and Families Guide which is like a user manual for Penn State. If you study this comprehensive volume, you will gain a thorough understanding of how the University works and who to contact if you have questions or concerns. Have questions about submitting immunization records? It's in there. Wondering how LionCash works? Look no further. Need the phone numbers for academic advising offices? There's a list. You'd be hard-pressed to come up with a question that can't be answered using this book. The presentations at NSO expand on this information and offer parents and students a chance to ask questions of PSU staff. Lots of time is devoted to understanding housing, meal plans, academic support, career services, financial aid, student organizations, wellness, and safety.

One session I found especially informative was a Q&A with a panel of current students. I couldn't resist asking a senior what he wished he had known when he started his college career. "Nobody cares," he immediately responded. Interesting response, I thought. Then he continued, "When you first arrive on campus, you're self-conscious and worried about what everyone thinks of you. The truth is that they aren't paying attention to you. College is your chance to do whatever you want to do and create an experience that's your own. This is the place to really discover what matters to you." That's pretty good advice no matter what your age!

In the afternoon on day one of NSO the students depart, and parents are told that they won't see their students until the next day. Students are assigned an Orientation Leader and placed with small groups of students to hear sessions on academic planning, successful transition from high school to college, ways to get involved, and more. They eat dinner together in the dining hall and then head to the Student Rec Center for organized games and activities. Expect your student to be tired when you see them the next day because there's a pretty good chance they were up late talking to their new friends. This is the magic of NSO, that moment when your student realizes they're going to be happy here and you see the excitement on their face.

Parents feel the excitement too. You stop worrying about asking silly questions because you know others want to hear the answers. You learn about ways you can contribute to Penn State such as joining the Parents Council or becoming a Parent Ambassador and find yourself thinking: "I want to be along for this ride too!" You feel a bond forming with the other families you see picking out sweatshirts at the bookstore. Maybe our kids will be roommates? Maybe we'll tailgate together at the homecoming game? Maybe we'll co-host a graduation party? You feel a growing connection to these people and to Penn State that is surprising in its speed and its intensity. During session breaks, you find yourself ambling past Old Main and imagining your student navigating their way to that first class. You notice how everyone holds the door for you when you enter a building and you come to understand why people call this place Happy Valley.

The final activity during NSO is that moment when your student heads to their department to choose their classes. Parents are not invited. It's your student's journey now. These sessions can last a few hours so take that time to find a bench under a tree where you can admire the stunning campus, wander down to College Avenue in search of the one piece of Penn State gear you still haven't bought or grab a photo in front of the Lion Shrine to remember this day. Reflect on all those years as a parent that have culminated in this triumphant moment, and allow yourself a victory lap. You have poured your entire being into the young person sitting at a computer behind that door deciding if Anthropology 101 is right for them. You have raised a scholar who is now a Penn Stater. When they emerge from that building, hug them with all your might and let them know how proud you are!

We Are!

The Parent-to-Parent Blog is written by members of the Penn State Parents Council who are dedicated to enhancing communication about the Penn State family experience. Opinions and experiences expressed in the blog are those of the writer(s). The blog is a partnership with the Penn State Parents Program.

Learn more about the Parents Council.